Kimi ni Suki to Ieru
by Jaela-chan
Summary: Ishida is still haunted by the demons of his past. After all, the only woman he ever loved is dead. How will he react when an innocent girl expresses her feelings for him? A very angsty oneshot.


"Ishida-kun!" The voice rang out from about six meters away. Ishida looked up to face the girl that was advancing towards him. A sort of inexplicable melancholy swept over him. He knew her just a little. She was a freshman with bright eyes, and usually ranked pretty well on tests. She was a bright girl, and cute, too. What a shame that she had to choose him, of all people. She just had to choose the person who would be certain to reject her.

"Ishida-kun," She repeated, more quietly this time. She'd come to face him, and she was a little out of breath. Her straight brown hair was a bit mussed, and her face flushed from both the exertion of running and the embarrassment of being as close as she'd ever gotten to Ishida. When she saw the paper clenched tightly in Ishida's hand, she drew in a deep breath and spoke up. "That's my letter," she said, trying her best to stay composed. "I'm Segawa Akari. I… I like you, Ishida-kun. So, do you have a girlfriend? Or is there someone you like?"

Ishida lowered his head a bit, not able to bear looking this girl in the eyes. This sweet, innocent, well-meaning girl… he couldn't stand that he was the one who'd have to do this to her. "A girlfriend or someone I like," he repeated. He thought for a long moment, and gave a short morose chuckle. "There was."

"Was?" Akari clutched her right wrist—a nervous habit of hers. "If you don't mind me asking, Ishida-kun… why… ah, what do you mean by that?"

Ishida gulped and forced himself to say it… the cold truth that had been haunting him night after night ever since it happened. "She died."

Akari drew in a sharp gasp, as if she were choking on the air around her. For a moment she couldn't speak. Her head was spinning and she thought she'd lose her balance. "I'm so sorry."

Something about her voice irritated him. She sounded almost as if she was in pain, but how could she ever know how painful it really was? She couldn't. There's so way she could. "No need to apologize," he said calmly. "It has nothing to do with you." He wished she would just take the hint and leave. He didn't want to see her or hear her voice anymore. He might do something he'd regret.

"That's not true," Akari insisted. "Ishida, your pain is my pain. So…" she trailed off. She couldn't say any more, or she wouldn't be able to stop herself from crying.

Ishida felt anger brewing deep inside of him and struggled to keep it from rising to the surface. "Do you really… like me _that_ much?" he demanded. But it didn't matter how much she liked him. She had no right to say that his pain was her own. She could never imagine…

"That's not what I meant," Akari said, shaking her head furiously. "My best friend… also died recently. All I meant is, I kind of get it… Of course, it's different if it's a girlfriend or boyfriend or someone you like, but I just meant—"

"No," Ishida cut her off. There was a pain in his chest. "It is the same. I was being presumptuous." How could he have gotten so angry without hearing her out first? He must have become very narrow-minded lately. "I'm sorry."

Akari smiled a sad little smile. "No need to apologize," she countered. "It has nothing to do with you."

The girl was crying now, and Ishida bit back his own bitter tears. He'd deserved that fully, he thought to himself. "That's not what I meant," he forced out. "I am sorry that I treated you so unfairly, but… I mean that I'm sorry, but I can't return your feelings."

"I know," Akari muttered softly.

Before Ishida knew it, the girl was already gone.

It was as if she'd been swept away by the wind.

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Author's comments: I really do like Ishida a lot, so I don't know why I dealt him this kind of psychological torture in this fic. Please forgive me, Ishida! I just wanted to write about him, and what came out was just a bunch of angst. I wanted to portray the scars that Ishida had to deal with now that his "suki na hito" is gone. Oh, and Segawa Akari is just someone I made up, she's not an actual Bleach character. I came to really like her in the short time I got to interract with her, though. Maybe she'll make a cameo if I ever write Bleach fanfiction again.

Anyway... did I do alright? Reviews are very welcome and very helpful to me. . Thanks!-Jaela


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